My boyfriend told me I should write something a little more personal on my blog. I think he’s right but I’m a terrible “sharer”. I don’t know how much of myself to give to people right away. I get paranoid a little about digging a little too deep into my feelings on social media but in an effort to live by my blog’s motto “Less Fear, More Freedom” I decided that I would do a little “Storytime” on why I DIDN’T tell all my immediate friends about my blog and why sometimes Real G’s move in silence like lasgna. That was a Lil Wayne reference. Keep up. Let’s get into this storytime.
First let’s back up a little. I used to model. I say “used to” because I still love to take photos but not for professional gain. I only do it nowadays as a creative outlet. I also don’t want to call myself a model if I’m not actively working with photographers and MUA and stylists, etc. We’ll talk more on why I’m not “a model” anymore on a later post, I’m only bringing up to say that I have another Instagram account @shalycee_ where you can see my modeling photos. The reason why I chose to make a completely new Instagram and not use that account for my blog was because I felt that I wasn’t going to get organic support or that the people that were following me on my previous Instagram weren’t going to actually read my blog. Instagram can be a great place to communicate with people from all over but it can also be a place that brings you stress and self esteem issues. I was hyping myself up to start a blog and I didn’t want the pressure of impressing people to interfere with the fearlessness that had returned to me.
I was playing the “fake it till you make” game when I first put my blog post up. Being fearless is rewarding but you have to get to that point first. I was almost there 2 weeks ago but I felt like the fearlessness was fragile and could be easily reversed back into self doubt if I let it. So I kept going, quietly. I bought my domain, I bought a theme, and I started making my logo. I started writing my first couple of posts and I posted it on twitter. Then it happened! People read it! I was actually shocked. I’m still shocked to see people comment on my blog and that people have been following me to see more from me.
Thanks to the blogging community for being so sweet. Yall really showed me that people would be into this new confidence I had gained. When I told one of my “real life” friends to check out my blog they only talked about what they didn’t like about it. This hurt only because this person knew that I wanted to start this blog. So to come back with something negative to say instead of saying something like “damn you finally did it!” or “I’m so proud of you” really sucked and confirmed that I had made the right decision to not to just BLAST to the world that I had started my blog. Back to that Lil Wayne quote, it just means he keeps his hustle on the low but to means real gangstas move how they wanna move and they don’t need to make a huge announcement just for clout. People will come to you if you’re hard working.
Sometimes you don’t get the support you want from people you love and thats okay. That was ONE person. Lots of other people including some of my other friends and family have been super super supportive. I’m sharing this because I had someone not like my content wayyyy before I thought it was going to happen and I wanted to tell people to keep going because just doing it is more than some people ever work up the courage to do.